Mom Fears

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

hope you all had a great Labor Day weekend! As always, it went by too fast over here.

I didn't get nearly what I wanted accomplished because... surprise! Our little man decided to start crawling! I might have shed a few tears thinking about how grown up he seems all of a sudden! This has by far been the funnest stage yet, and I hesitate to say it but I think we're finally getting the hang of things 7 months in.

No one ever tells you how exciting and scary parenthood is at the same time. One minute I'm cheering him on to crawl, the other I'm hurling my body in front of whatever it is he could potentially hurt himself with or find on the floor to eat. 

Photo by Caitlin Thomas Photography

It got me thinking about how much anxiety I have as a mom. It starts immediately when you see those two pink lines on the pregnancy test and it never ends. It's the reason you turn in to mama bear at the slightest sign of danger, the fear that causes you to drop hundreds on baby gates, outlet covers and foam padding. 

But what has been one of the hardest adjustments for me as a parent is a different kind of fear. The fear of taking Rowan out in public, not being able to predict if my angel baby will join us at Target or the crazy version that squirms, whines, and drops everything I give to him. (Toddler mamas are rolling their eyes at me, I know... I'm well aware that we have a lot of these moments in our future)

All it takes is one or two bad outings. I find myself waiting until my husband comes home to watch him so I can run errands and make sure Rowan won't miss his afternoon nap.

At first we were good about taking Rowan out to restaurants, he slept the whole time and it was no big deal. But the older and more alert he gets, the more unpredictable he becomes. I know we are lucky, he has been the sweetest baby and the good days far outweigh the hard ones.

I'm sharing this because I get a sense that a lot of new mamas might feel the same way. To the mamas with newborns: my advice is to get out of the house. Even if its just for a walk around the neighborhood or a trip through the Starbucks drive through. The fresh air will do you good and although it feels like leaving the house is the longest process ever, it gets better and easier every time you do it. Hopefully I can follow my own advice there even with an older babe.

I read somewhere that your baby should fit in to your lifestyle, you shouldn't mold your lifestyle around the baby. While that is a bit unreasonable (this mama will definitely not mess with the bedtime routine!), it does make me feel a little more encouraged to do more things with him outside of the house!

Wish us luck!

12 comments:

  1. I'm sure that you're not the only mom who feels this way. In fact, I know you're not. I'm not a mom yet myself, but I already think about what that will be like. Just know you're not alone in it! Hopefully some of the other moms will have some words of advice for you :)

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  2. I definitely think that you should get out. But I don't entirely agree with the statement that the baby should fit into your life. As you know, having a baby changes everything. While we used to eat dinner at fancier places and later at night, we now choose to go to more casual places and earlier so that we have a better chance at having a happy child versus a cranky one. We also time meals, errands, and activities around naps (when possible). So while I agree it's important to get out with your child and continue to live your life, some compromise is great in order for everyone to be happy :)

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  3. Let me tell you people aren't paying as much attention as you think!! Today at Target Miller would not stop yelling bc be was angry I buckled him in and he didn't get to buckle himself and then he gets Matthew screaming because Matt thinks this is some fun game they're playing and I'm all how the hell am I going to get any of this grocery shopping done when we turn the corner and there is a 3 yr old having a full blown tantrum on the floor. He mom is just ignoring him and saying get up you're going to wake up your brother. This scene immediately gets my kids to stop and we just give each a nod like I get it, you gotta do what you gotta do. Kids are unpredictable but don't let that stop you from doing things and it will get easier and harder all at the same time. It's much easier once you can distract them with toys and food. Shopping with a toddler while sometimes sucky is mostly enjoyable. Hang in there and don't worry about it too much ;)

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  4. We are very selective on where we take Logan. Usually he'll sit through a family friendly restaurant ok, but I can't tell you the last time I've been shopping in an actual store! I'm having withdrawals!!

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  5. Rowan is SO precious! No kids of my own yet but my sister has 2 babies and helping her get them ready to head out the door is downright exhausting. I don't know how you mamas do it! Xoxo

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  6. I think I will be exactly like that! I am already anxious and my baby is just 19 weeks in utero :) I know it's normal to have mom fears - including the fear of a breakdown in public - but it doesn't make it any less hard to overcome. Thanks for sharing!

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  7. I love this advice. While we don't have kids yet, I have spent quite a bit of time thinking about what life will be like as a parent. I really want to incorporate our kids into our lives as much as possible and not hibernate in our house. I welcome any other tips!

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  8. I will never forget the first day I braved going out alone with the baby. It was like my cloud finally lifted and I thought I can do this. We have been pretty lucky with P but on those days she is a terror...well we do the best we can to get home and get home QUICK!

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  9. aw i love this! i really need to be better about not scheduling my whole day around violet and her naps! it's tough but i do feel better when i get out of the house and bring her with. xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  10. Totally feel you Momma. I remember one day my husband and I finally decided to enjoy a nice dinner out at Olive Garden, NBD right? Mykenzi was asleep in her car seat and a couple was being sat next to us and they asked to be moved. I literally sat at the table and cried. It was hard enough to finally decide to go out and then someone didn't want to sit next to us because we had a baby. I don't think I left to house for months after that. The fear of unpredictability is a tough one, but I promise as they enter these new stages you adjust as well and the unpredictability eases. Besides, I think moms have this unspoken "I don't judge you if your child is screaming" lingo. It's like once you become a mom you're apart of this alliance that instead of being annoyed your kid is throwing a tantrum, there's compassion and a pat on the back saying it'll be alright. Haha

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  11. I love the advice! You gotta do what you gotta do. Kids are unpredictable but don't let that stop you from doing things and it will get easier and harder all at the same time. It's much easier once you can distract them with toys and food. Shopping with a toddler while sometimes sucky is mostly enjoyable. Thanks for sharing!

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  12. We have gotten out of the house since Maddox was two weeks old almost every day. I can't handle staying home all day feeling cooped up. But I do totally get what you mean, they shouldn't decide our schedules, but at the same time i can schedule a target trip after a nap time I will most certainly do so. There have been many times I've gone to the grocery store, walked in and Maddox looses it. So I walk right back out and go home and go myself when daddy gets home. We thought it was tough to get out with newborns! Ha!

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